Whistling in the Dark

photo courtesy of Jenna Binion

I have a hard time letting go.  Just ask my kids--three of whom have already flown the coop--number four is in the driveway with the engine revved and ready, counting down the seconds to graduation, and five isn't far behind.  As the day draws near, the maternal clutch grows ever more white around the knuckles.

Same premise holds for certain writing projects, only the struggle isn't so much the letting go as it is the getting started.  The knuckles are just as white.

Portia's Protocol for Not Writing (for non-writers, this plan may easily be applied to any new undertaking):

1.  Have an idea.

2.  Toy with the idea, like a dog with a bone, until any shred of meat that might have proven useful has long since been removed.

3. Scratch, scribble, scratch, scribble.  Mark it all out.  Tear it all up.  Put the offending digital file in the handy little trash can at the bottom of one's computer screen.

4. In the wee hours decide that the idea was never very good anyway.

5. Go to the library, the bookstore, on-line, your own bookshelf, and make a huge pile of books that you must/should read/re-read before ever trying to write again.

It works every time.   Cling to any idea long enough and it's bound to become ridiculous.

A wise man once told me you wouldn't even buy a color TV set if you waited until the time was exactly right, much less have a baby--I certainly took those words to heart and leapt off the precipice into motherhood five times over with very little planning.

I have more faith in my ability to bring another human being into this crazy world than another piece of writing.

The same premise holds true for any major undertaking in life:  college, a new job, marriage, any creative work of art--if you wait for the time to be exactly right, for all the closets to be cleaned, the credit cards to be completely paid off, the insurance policies to be precisely executed with the lowest possible deductible, you will stay exactly where you are.  In a comfy chair with the remote control.

Today's visit to the library brought the perfect words regarding this paralytic condition into my hands:

"[faith and fiction] both start with a leap in the dark.....Faith is less a

        position on than a movement toward, less a sure thing than a hunch."

                                                                        - Frederick Buechner


Here goes.